Why Social Media Triggers Anxiety

by Astrid Ferguson

Are you waking up in the morning to check your Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and/or email? Are you finding yourself losing hours scrolling through people’s pages and wondering how the hell you ended up there? Have you noticed your screen time on your iPhone refuses to decrease?

Welp, you may be dealing with social media separation anxiety. If it makes you feel better, you’re not alone. COVID, the pandemic, quarantine, and all that occurred in 2020 diminished our in-person social gathering to nonexistent and triggered a need to do more digitally. Suddenly, we found ourselves glued to screens all day, watching the news incessantly while going on Instagram to laugh at some of the news memes. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but when you feel the world crumbling around you, laughter seems to be the best remedy.

What we don't realize is that we develop FOMO. We develop unhealthy patterns with our screens, slowly comparing our lives and ideals to strangers’. We read into profiles, compare likes and comments, and suddenly, our real lives seem only as valuable as 800 X 800 pixel squared images on our screens. Naturally, we begin taking other opinions as our own and before we know it, we are emotionally spent and have no idea why.

All we know is that we’re tired of all of our days looking exactly the same. Dreaming feels better than being alive most days. It feels like a really bad breakup with our sanity, doesn’t it? Every day, it feels like problems escalate, resolutions grow more obscure, and everyone is angry and complaining. Positivity seems foreign and we become fearful of everything and everyone around us while social media capitalizes on our emotional imbalance and we just feed into the theories of algorithms. When we resort to seeking solutions from our friends, all they often say is, “Try this app,” another thing to keep us tied to the one thing that feeds our anxiety monster—OUR PHONE.

So what can you do? Well, for starters:

TURN OFF THE NEWS

You are going to see the same thing you saw yesterday. Everyone is still talking about what actions to take going forward and still no resolution. It’s no secret that the turn of events at Capitol Hill had us staring at our screens in total disbelief. The craziest part was all the conversation that happened afterward. It just seems like we have been home so long we have forgotten how to make clear, concise decisions without weeks and weeks of deliberations.

So turn it off. Save your energy and place it elsewhere. The more you read and speak to others on social media, the more you realize how we are in a deeper mess than expected. There is no need to develop trigger Twitter fingers. It is not going to end systemic depression and it will not resolve your financial hardships, improve your mental health, or help you develop long-lasting healthy relationships. It may even cost you your job, and let me tell you, this is not the time to be looking for a new job. It is a jungle out here looking for a new position.

UNPLUG YOUR PHONE

That’s right! Stop downloading apps to do things you can do without your phone. I know it is hard to think of things you did prior to phones and tablets but trust me, you can do it. Things you can do without your phone include: journaling, reading, walking, cooking, sewing, and gardening. In the digital era, it is difficult to unplug. We are connecting with the world digitally all day. Therefore, It’s imperative to unplug at different times throughout the day to reclaim our peace.

If you have four minutes to spare between Zoom calls, get up and stretch or stare out a window into the silence of nature. Allow your thoughts to flow. Make yourself some tea, but consciously choose to unplug. Another great way to ensure you’re not picking up your phone is to set it on DND (do not disturb). Whatever it is, you can get to it later. It is your time now, okay?

TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST ABOUT YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS

Talking through your thoughts helps wonders. I know—I am a certified professional coach! I see the energy shift in clients just by listening to their doubts and fears. Why do you think people hire coaches? How many of us can honestly say we have unbiased people who truly listen to us? If you answered yes, I have a follow-up question. How many of these people will say something like, “I hear ya but you will be fine.” That is not the same thing as listening. Hire yourself a coach if you can. But please choose your sanity and your joy above all else.

Many of us need some acknowledgment. We need a little validation for our emotions. We need to feel safe enough to release our own judgments. Too often we are told what to do and we feel disappointed when we find ourselves unhappy and unfulfilled. Choosing joy involves us searching deep within to find what we truly want. Fortunately, I created something to help with that. Check out Choosing Joy After a Long Year of Grief (shameless plug). Interrogate your thoughts and ask if the stories in your head are true.

GIVE YOURSELF GRACE TO PIVOT

I know this sounds taboo, but we don’t allow ourselves to just feel. We spend so much time developing a plan for a new plan. It is exhausting! Look, we are not always going to have things figured out. This is a perfect time to see most of us don’t have it figured out, not even our government officials. We are all trying to survive this pandemic. We thought it was only going to be a two-week thing and here we are almost a year later. We wanted the pandemic to be over so bad we convinced ourselves that as soon as the new year ball dropped all our problems would disappear.

We started the year with so much enthusiasm and just like that, a week in we had the Capitol Hill incident. Many are experiencing evictions because they have not received a single dime from unemployment. Many are tired of all the rejection letters from prospective employers. Funerals are not slowing down. Children are still learning virtually. It’s A LOT to take in. So wherever you are, breathe! Be okay with not being okay. Stop pretending to have it all together. Cry your eyeballs out. I know I did this morning. I am a coach and I struggle to feed myself some days. That is how low I get some days. We are collectively in pain and lost.

Your anxiety is real and social media is not helping you. Do whatever you can to keep yourself breathing because breathing is all we have right now. Go tell your friends to do the same. Let’s help each other reclaim peace and sanity even if it’s just for ten minutes. Pinky promise?