How A Year of Unemployment Helped Redesign, Realign, and Rediscover Myself
by Astrid Ferguson
It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year already. It seems like it was only yesterday I was biting my nails and praying with deep conviction for a way out of unemployment. There were a few scary months where I didn’t know if we could pay our mortgage, bills, and keep my little one in daycare. I remember the sleepless nights full of worry and damp pillows from all my crying. My husband would sleep soundly because he still had a job, luckily. I, on the other hand, the breadwinner, felt anxious, unworthy, and stuck in a cycle of constantly discovering new financial solutions. We couldn’t survive on just my husband’s income. Couple that with a whole pandemic, homeschooling, racial protest, and an unusual election, it was a worrisome year packed with grief and overwhelm.
As hard as it was, it was a year I needed. A year to redesign, realign, and rediscover myself. Being unemployed forced me to be resourceful, creative and extremely self-aware. I poured all my energy into my coaching business. I was determined to finish my certification and start making some money. Welp, I got the certification but the money was not raining in.
I mean the financial stability of America was shaken to its knees by COVID-19 and here I was telling the world that coaching would help. Fear was eating our sanity for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Amazing how the same thing you rebuke becomes the thing you miss. Capitalism was temporarily suspended and with that came an opportunity to redefine how I conducted business. Except, I was still in the preliminary phase of defining myself as a coach. While you and I both know coaching is valuable, the money wasn’t stretching for most of us and I am not the best salesperson either. So, I did what I do best—cut as many expenses as I could. Do whatever dead-end job came my way. Sure I would have nights where I doubted things would get better. My personal savings depleted, loved ones were dying in sets of threes, and leaving the house felt like a deer in an open meadow looking out for hunters with COVID-19 vests.
You may ask, “So how did I redesign myself?” Well, the first thing I did was…
Redesigned My Expense Strategy
I realized that some COVID packages for car loans and mortgages were not helpful. Instead of alleviating an expense, they would increase debt long-term. So I did some research on all the COVID plans provided by my credit cards, mortgage company, and all other bill collectors. That’s when I dug deeper into my PMI insurance. PMI insurance or Private Mortgage Insurance, is an added expense borrowers incur for giving a downpayment less than 20% of the asking price of a purchased home. It is an added security for mortgage lenders in case the borrower defaults on their home loan.
It is important for me to say this now before you continue reading, I am not a financial advisor so please consult a financial advisor prior to making any final decisions. Whenever you have a PMI, there are ways to have it removed. The following were requirements I need to meet in order to remove my PMI:
Paid 20% of the original home loan (usually met within 5-10 years) or
Made some substantial renovations to my home that increased my home value above 20% or
If homes in my area increased substantially in value—increasing the overall value of my home above 20% of my original home loan.
Check with your mortgage lender to see what their prerequisites are for a PMI removal as these may vary by lender. I qualified for #3 because right now with the market being a seller’s market, home retail values have substantially increased. Doing this saved me $250 a month on my mortgage, instead of applying for the COVID hardship plans available. The COVID option plans were either:
Not pay my mortgage and pay it all after six months plus interest, or
Increase my monthly mortgage rate after the six months until the amount plus interest was paid, or
Refinance my house and add another 2 years to my mortgage payments
All of these options did not make financial sense to me. So I decided to take a more permanent approach with my mortgage. Now, I was able to secure a full-time position—starting with fewer expenses. As there were other things I trimmed—lowering credit card bills and applied to any programs I qualified for, helped alleviate some financial burdens. I think this was a wiser strategy with long-term benefits if you asked me.
Realigned My Mindset
This one was a big one for me. I was dealing with so much self-doubt from all the rejected applications I received. I counted my rejected emails and they amounted to a whopping 300. I was even denied a cashier job at Target. Can you believe that? That one still makes me upset. I seriously thought I was like the basketball players getting traded every season and eventually forced into retirement.
So I changed how I approached job hunting and turned it on its head. I networked like crazy. I was in so many virtual workshops and career fairs. I actually liked the virtual career fairs. As an introvert, I can tell you this was up my alley. I stepped into the virtual rooms, shared my Linkedin profile, and spoke with recruiters instantly. I loved it! Unfortunately, this led to more rejections later as it turned out because they were also dealing with layoffs. Let’s not go down that rabbit hole because so many layers in job hunting are subjective and not easy to navigate. That was crystal clear to me during this pandemic when jobs were scarce and the competition was fierce.
Naturally, the job hunting process discouraged me a bit until I decided to reach into my own network. I pushed my pride to the side and started blasting everywhere that I was looking for a job. People I never thought would help me, did. My peers from my iPEC Coaching community became my strong spine—keeping me from slouching as I continued surviving. I was looking for part-time, freelance, full-time, anything I could land. Luckily, through all my networking my resume landed on the desk of an old colleague. We spoke, we caught up with each other’s lives and a referral came out of that one conversation. Now, I can say I have finally found a full-time position that I am excited to begin.
So what did I learn from this?
I learned that I was only as open to the possibilities I created in my mind. If I hadn’t persevered and continued pushing past my negative thoughts, I would’ve settled for a job that didn’t fulfill me. I was hyper-vigilant on the immediate needs that I was consumed by the quicksand of responsibility. I had to tap into my alter ego. I made a goal and I allowed nothing to stand in my way. Tenacity is something we all have inside of us if we can connect action to core values. To me that connection was providing for my family, at least I thought. However, once I dug deeper I realized working is part of my identity. I enjoy making my own money, helping people, and buying what I want without asking. While I love my business I knew that I was not prepared to be a full-time entrepreneur yet and I am okay with that. I was aware—being the best coach to my clients involved me eliminating this worry. Now, I can take my time building the best coaching practice I can for those who value the partnership we will build together.
Rediscovered Myself
You know, it amazes me how much we change to remain the same. I was seriously doubting my abilities because I didn’t have a title or a steady paycheck. I lost track of all the wonderful things I did while dealing with serious self-doubt. I revamped my website, built a virtual program, hosted several workshops and panels, took on some coaching clients, and even made four figures. That may not be anything to brag about but to me, that was a major accomplishment, especially as a person who had no idea how to run a business full-time. Not to mention acing interviewing virtually. In my honest opinion, that should be the permanent new interview process.
I rediscovered that I am not as strong as my options. Instead, I am as strong as I CHOOSE to be. I chose to keep fighting, persevering and that inspired the Redesigning, Realigning, Rediscovering Me journal that will be available for purchase on May 7, 2021. I will share more about that soon. For now, feel free to grab your thirty-day sample (look out for the pop-up box).
I hope you reading this, redesign, realign and rediscover you are so much more than you think. Your pitfalls are not the final definition of who you are. They help shape you and you can always redefine your story. You are always in control and will always have the power to pivot. I hope you continue to rediscover ways to acknowledge your concerns and move past your fears. I BELIEVE in you, my friend!
Now, if you’re feeling up to it, share with me in the comments what you discovered about yourself in this recent year. I promise to read every word.
