Why Negotiating During Interviews Should Still Be Paramount
by Astrid Ferguson
Hola, my friend! Let’s air out the most important but yucky subject—negotiations. If you are like me, negotiating makes you vomit in your mouth a little. I always hate negotiations. My heart starts racing and I start to overthink the process. I know what I want but somehow, negotiations feel to me like someone becomes the bully and the other person ends up settling. That is the result of a bad negotiation and it usually falls on us “the employee candidate” who gets the shorter end of the stick.
If you felt short-handed in a previous position or settled and dreaded going to the office every morning, chances are, you got the short end of the stick. Yeah, that’s right! I said what I said! So many of us operate from a survival mindset, especially, as women and minorities in the workplace. We often feel like we have to take what’s given to us. We have to tolerate and grind our way to the top. We have to work extra hours and perfect every responsibility we’re given in the workplace. We think we have to give and give and struggle to ask for what we want.
Meanwhile, you see Scotty (fake character) who happens to be the boss’s son with no previous experience and doesn’t know anything about the organization get hired to be the director of the department. Lucky Scotty and pity on you the hardworking employee, huh? Or you feel like every time it comes to promotion announcements you are overlooked for someone you felt did way less than you did. Now, add a pandemic to these all-too-common situations. You find yourself stuck once again between what you think you should settle for and take versus what you desire and know good and well you deserve. You start to make excuses for not asking for the obvious like safety during a pandemic.
Well, here is where the mind shift happens to go from survival (tolerating what is given) to success (setting expectations early).
Why do you want this job?
This is a very important question to answer. The interviewer will ask you this question and you will probably craft a very good argument. However, I challenge you to think about how true that argument is. When you say things like, “I am taking this job because it would be an opportunity for advancement” or “I can see myself being an asset to this company.,” ask yourself why. What is really motivating you to take this job? Is this a stepping stone job to get you by until you get where you want to go? Does this job just happen to fit your background really well and you’re happy to get another job? Will this position serve as just another job that pays the bills or is this role a really good fit for you (personality, culture, pay, benefits, perks, and location)? Does the story you’re telling yourself match your response to this question? It is imperative to be honest and confident about whatever role you choose. You may have some doubts and that’s okay. You may not know what the perfect role is for you. However, you have some curiosity about the things that interest you and a hierarchy of values you firmly believe in. If you are settling for roles that do not align with your core values and beliefs then you’re already settling for the short-end of the stick my friend.
These self-assessments are essential when choosing to say yes to a job. The interview process is like a date. Imagine if you were dating someone who seemed extremely egotistical and self-centered. Would you enjoy the date? If you answered no, then it’s time to do some deep soul searching on what you want to gain from your future positions. You can always begin by writing down what you enjoyed about your previous positions. If you never worked in the workplace before maybe start writing down subjects or industries that interest you and why.
What matters to you most?
This is another really good question to ask yourself before accepting a job offer. Be honest with yourself and the expectations you have or the must-have essentials that are important to you. Using myself as an example, flexibility is very high on my list. I like having the flexibility of working remotely and going into the office. I am a momma of two boys and that flexibility helps with managing appointments, parent-teacher conferences, and everything else. Plus it saves me time, gas, and helps me remain more productive personally and professionally. In the past, I used to not ask for this in my previous jobs. And guess what? I was stuck in rigid departments that didn’t permit working remotely. I stayed in dreadful job situations where I had to use vacation time to handle these personal affairs. So I didn’t enjoy my vacation time when I could’ve simply done it over a lunch hour and saved my vacation days to do something I really enjoyed. That was the number one reason I stayed so long in my previous position before getting laid off.
Now, with the pandemic, suddenly everyone is allowed to work from home (with the exception of our essential workers who we thank dearly). So the capability is there my friend. For so long I was told asking for the remote option during interviews made me seem lazy or uninterested. That, my friend, sounds to me like a bunch of old mindsets in need of some serious new Millennial shifting. Once I switched my mindset that I was asking because it was an important value for me, I was able to find companies that were providing this option to their employees. And now that the secret is out with COVID, we should all reassess how we view working remotely. Just saying…
So ask yourself: What matters to me most?
Compensation
Flexibility
Culture
Perks
Benefits
Location
Safety
Community Service
Diversity and Inclusion
Education
You can definitely have more than one priority, but there is usually something on this list that is paramount above the others. That will be your deal-breaker for your must-haves in your negotiation process. And yes, put it out there early in the interviewing process to set your expectations early. No matter how desperate you may be to find a job (as I have been and still am sometimes), setting expectations early works best for both parties involved.
How much do you need this job?
You may be asking yourself, “did she have to be this direct?” Yes, my friend, I had to take it there. Plenty of times, we have convinced ourselves that we need a job. We think we have to chase the money instead of believing money is a tool. Money can flow to us. Ever noticed how sometimes in life things just magically work out? Sure, you may land a few things based on your previous experience, but the real secret is it happened because you were ready to receive it. If you are taking a job because you convinced yourself you need that job instead of it being a job you really want, you are conditioning yourself to settle. Chances are, you may dread every minute you’re there and end up holding the shorter end of the stick.
Think of negotiating for a job as negotiating terms for your marriage. You come in with a set of expectations. You also know what you bring to the table. You will both combine these efforts and build an empire together. If you’re going into a marriage because you feel you need to be married and not because you really want to form a strong union with this person, you will eventually become miserable. Negotiations are the entry points to a partnership or long-lasting collaboration. You are helping each other build a foundation and, in return, helping one another evolve professionally and in some ways, personally. You spend more time in a job than you do with your loved ones. Spending this much time in a partnership should at least bring you some type of joy and fulfillment, don’t you think?
What is your preferred level of responsibility and salary?
Oh, man! Or how my mom would say, “Pero tu no tiene fondo mi hija?” He-he! This one is crucial to knowing your limits and staying true to your lifestyle. Most of us work to sustain a life we want to live. Am I right? So my suggestion to you is to keep a tally of all the things you enjoy doing, expenses, and how much work you’re comfortable with doing. I say this because there are some people who don’t mind working fifteen and sixteen+ hours a day to sustain a luxurious lifestyle. Some people know the perfect formula of having a luxurious lifestyle and only working four- and six-hour workweeks. I haven’t figured out that formula, but I am working on it. You may not be a morning person or you may hate being on the phone all day fixing folks' technical issues.
Only you know what needs to go into this matrix and what you are willing to do and not do. If quality time with family is something super important to you, chances are, you will not like working 15- and 16-hour workdays. So this one is a very good exercise to do and will create some important questions to ask your potential employer about culture, employee expectations, negotiating salary, perks, and how they support their employees with future goals. I recommend using What Color is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual For Job-Hunters and Career-Changers to help you develop a rich feller’s flower (a self-inventory flower with seven petals). It will change your mindset around job-hunting and negotiating potential employment terms.
Now, I know that this was a lot to take in. So take a deep breath, my friend. A more abundant and fruitful life awaits you. My passion is to see you thriving. First, we must outgrow survival mode to pivot into thriving. Life is meant to be lived abundantly and that includes finding joy in everything we do. So challenge yourself to take this pandemic setback as an opportunity to fine-tune your negotiation and interviewing skills. Land the job you always wanted or build the business with an exceptionally thriving culture you longed for. We are always on the brink of change. So we must resist the fear and grab-on to hope firmly. You can change your life and money will always come to you, my friend. So how will you start implementing some of these strategies into your next negotiation? Let me know in the comments. If you’re into this article share it with a friend who might be in need of these words. Catch you in the next blog, my friends. Chao!
FQ#